If there is something I love to do, it is people watch and observe the behaviors of others. The drama that ultimately ensues makes you realize how normalized your life may actually be. With all of that said, I feel the need to make a few comments on the way I have seen my friends use Facebook and my opinion on what to do and what NOT to do.
1. Don’t air your dirty laundry publicly on your Facebook page. People always say or do things you may regret later and you never want it put out into the universe where it can be viewed for all mankind and for eternity. If you have a fight with your girlfriend or wife, keep it to yourself or at least keep your comments vague, like – “today is a rough day, looking forward to tomorrow: You can always use your inbox to discuss it with your Facebook friends.
2. Do not befriend old boyfriends unless you are in a truly platonic and friendly relationship. Unless you are looking to rekindle an old flame or see if it can be re-kindled this is a bad idea. And, if you are currently involved, it gives your current partner or spouse reason to question and pry. Lastly, it gives you reason to act undecently; yes, drunk facebooking exists people!
3. Do not keep yourself tagged on any photos that you wouldn’t otherwise post to Facebook yourself. If they are incriminating, for goodness sake, untag yourself at the very least!
4. Do NOT talk trash about your work or employer on Facebook – you never know who is watching!. Most employers these days are tech savvy. In fact, many people are relying upon social media outlets like Facebook & Twitter to check on perspective candidates for employment. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, but realize that if every old photo of you at a frat party is in your picture album, people may question your character irregardless of how many years have past.
5. Do ignore or defriend people if you realize – “I don’t know you, or I am not friends with you” You do not have to be friends with everyone you graduated high school with just to up your friend quota. Befriend those who you really want to share you life, your passion, your photos, your thoughts and your opinions with, and do NOT feel guilty.
6. Do not barrage people with pokes, requests, etc. Of course you should send out invitations to causes, and anything you feel you want to share with that person. But, if I get one more plant request I think I will begin to resent living plants! Use wisely.
7. Do post at least one current photo of yourself to your profile page of Facebook without masks, costumes, etc. on. If you try to befriend someone you haven’t spoken to in over 10 years without a photo or in a disguised photo, how do you expect them to remember who you are?
8. If you are a female, do post your maiden name with your married name on your Facebook page, even if it is not the way it reads on your Social Security card or Driver’s License. If you post your married name only, many people will not realize who you may be. I befriended a gal from my High School class once and it took me 4 months to actually figure out who she was!!
9. Try not to swear on your Facebook page – it is just proper etiquette.
10. Have a voice. Even though there are things NOT to do on Facebook, it doesn’t mean you can’t use it as a way to say something while networking with friends and family. Have a political statement to make? Make it! Have a news story you want to share because it is interesting to you? Share it! Have something positive to say? Say it! People judge, but if you are passionate about it – who cares!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
What you gain from losing...
My friend, Daniela, and I lost our fathers in 2001, about a month or so apart, and it was one of the most devastating things to go through. Not only did I lose my father, my mentor, my best friend, but to know that someone close to me was experiencing the same thing made it burn twice as hot. Emotionally, I had to focus on myself during that time, and I didn’t have the capacity to focus on Daniela. It was heart wrenching to know this person needs your support more than ever and I just couldn’t give it the way I wanted to or knew that I should.
To add fuel to the fire, a month later, another best friend calls to tell me her father passed from brain cancer… And then just weeks later, my other close friend calls to tell me her mother passed away from a freak accident… And only weeks after my father died, his good friend’s wife called to tell me that her husband was hanging on by a thread. What was going on?
2001 encapsulated the darkest hours of my life. It is a time that I am thankful, in so many ways, for being able to close the door on and distance myself from, but it is a year that re-visits me on a frequent basis and still causes a lot of pain and anguish which I will probably carry with me for the rest of my life.
When you lose someone close to you, whether it is a father, mother, brother, sister, friend, etc. it affects you and changes you in ways you could never imagine. Your support system bottoms out and you have to learn to transition into trusting, loving and being supported by the other people around you. It is difficult and it is painful.
There are these moments that wash over you with such raw emotion that is can be awe-inspiring and so heart breaking at the same time that you can barely catch your breath. For instance, six years ago, I was attending a dear friend’s wedding. During the reception, I had to leave the room after she started to dance with her father. I was so overcome with happiness for her and sheer and utter sadness for myself, that I couldn’t contain my emotions. My father was never able to walk me down the aisle or share a first dance with me. Why? Why couldn’t I have had those moments to cherish forever and does my friend understand how truly special this moment is in her life?
Or those frequent moments when I so desperately want to ask for my father’s advice. What house should I buy, which job should I take, which investment is the best… down to the mundane … , which lawn mower is the better buy, what dog food do you think is best, should I cut my hair or leave it long?
But what I realize is that so much of me is me because of him. So whether he is physically present or not, he is always helping me form the decisions I make every day. And so, when I ask myself the question that always brings me to tears, even now as I write this, “Are you proud of me, Dad?” I realize his influence is so strong in my daily life, that he has to be, because he is guiding me every day.
But today, Daniela needed guidance from me. She called today because she was struggling. She is trying to cope with the emotions of her loss as she is simultaneously trying to help one of her close friends who just lost her father. I sat and I listened and I could relate on so many levels.
Sometimes we take on the pain of others in order to relive the circumstances in our own life, in hopes that maybe this time I can get it right and come out on the other end healed, better, safer and less weak. And then other times, we take on the pain of others to protect ourselves, and distract ourselves, from the reality of our own situation, like how do I wake up in the morning and put a brave face on, how do I get through the day, how do I survive the next minute?
In reality, as Daniela and I discussed, it is a double edged sword. In one way with the passing of every year, we become stronger individuals as we distance ourselves from the pain of those days when you find out you have embodied a character in a tragic tale. On the other hand, we become more possessed by the fact that the gap is widening on our loss. Will I forget, do they think I have forgotten, can I have another chance to see their face or hear their voice? The tug of war on your heart can be daunting and exhausting, but at the end of the day, no matter how long you let the grief affect you and how low you sink on those inevitable“bad days”, you come out on the other end a stronger person in more ways than you could ever imagine. You never walk in the same shoes again.
So to all you folks out there who had the heart and grace to read this post, remember….Love your friends, your family and yourself with everything that you have to give. And when they are gone, let them know, and remind yourself daily, that they are never forgotten.
Dad you are my hero and I love you always…..
To add fuel to the fire, a month later, another best friend calls to tell me her father passed from brain cancer… And then just weeks later, my other close friend calls to tell me her mother passed away from a freak accident… And only weeks after my father died, his good friend’s wife called to tell me that her husband was hanging on by a thread. What was going on?
2001 encapsulated the darkest hours of my life. It is a time that I am thankful, in so many ways, for being able to close the door on and distance myself from, but it is a year that re-visits me on a frequent basis and still causes a lot of pain and anguish which I will probably carry with me for the rest of my life.
When you lose someone close to you, whether it is a father, mother, brother, sister, friend, etc. it affects you and changes you in ways you could never imagine. Your support system bottoms out and you have to learn to transition into trusting, loving and being supported by the other people around you. It is difficult and it is painful.
There are these moments that wash over you with such raw emotion that is can be awe-inspiring and so heart breaking at the same time that you can barely catch your breath. For instance, six years ago, I was attending a dear friend’s wedding. During the reception, I had to leave the room after she started to dance with her father. I was so overcome with happiness for her and sheer and utter sadness for myself, that I couldn’t contain my emotions. My father was never able to walk me down the aisle or share a first dance with me. Why? Why couldn’t I have had those moments to cherish forever and does my friend understand how truly special this moment is in her life?
Or those frequent moments when I so desperately want to ask for my father’s advice. What house should I buy, which job should I take, which investment is the best… down to the mundane … , which lawn mower is the better buy, what dog food do you think is best, should I cut my hair or leave it long?
But what I realize is that so much of me is me because of him. So whether he is physically present or not, he is always helping me form the decisions I make every day. And so, when I ask myself the question that always brings me to tears, even now as I write this, “Are you proud of me, Dad?” I realize his influence is so strong in my daily life, that he has to be, because he is guiding me every day.
But today, Daniela needed guidance from me. She called today because she was struggling. She is trying to cope with the emotions of her loss as she is simultaneously trying to help one of her close friends who just lost her father. I sat and I listened and I could relate on so many levels.
Sometimes we take on the pain of others in order to relive the circumstances in our own life, in hopes that maybe this time I can get it right and come out on the other end healed, better, safer and less weak. And then other times, we take on the pain of others to protect ourselves, and distract ourselves, from the reality of our own situation, like how do I wake up in the morning and put a brave face on, how do I get through the day, how do I survive the next minute?
In reality, as Daniela and I discussed, it is a double edged sword. In one way with the passing of every year, we become stronger individuals as we distance ourselves from the pain of those days when you find out you have embodied a character in a tragic tale. On the other hand, we become more possessed by the fact that the gap is widening on our loss. Will I forget, do they think I have forgotten, can I have another chance to see their face or hear their voice? The tug of war on your heart can be daunting and exhausting, but at the end of the day, no matter how long you let the grief affect you and how low you sink on those inevitable“bad days”, you come out on the other end a stronger person in more ways than you could ever imagine. You never walk in the same shoes again.
So to all you folks out there who had the heart and grace to read this post, remember….Love your friends, your family and yourself with everything that you have to give. And when they are gone, let them know, and remind yourself daily, that they are never forgotten.
Dad you are my hero and I love you always…..
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Pop-Up Retail: Fad for the Fabulous?
So, I am sitting at my desk the other day when this interesting inquiry comes across my email. I work in the wholesale gift industry, so my clients are retailers (of all sizes) throughout North America. This particular & prospective client was soliciting me, which I found very interesting. They had put together a unique retail concept and were pitching it to vendors who wanted to participate. Normally the shoe was on the other foot, so I was automatically intrigued.
I came to find out that this particular retail concept was not their idea specifically, but an up and coming trend in the retail world, as trendwatching.com is quick to point out, called “Pop-Up Retail.” Think PlayStation® Experience Truck, but temporarily parked and transformed into a fabulous retail space in Soho NY or on Melrose for 9-12 weeks and then POOF! Gone…
From a marketing perspective this new concept is a great way to create a buzz, about the store brand, or the products within. However, the question remains, is this a marketing strategy reserved only for those with deep pockets, or is this something anyone can do successfully? The exorbitant cost of rent for a downtown NYC or LA retail space, combined with what must be a massive budget for PR to generate foot traffic during such a short time span, certainly defies most independent retail budgets. And, the pure work that is involved in finding a space, filling it and then closing it out and closing the doors seems too much for a few people to handle and still make money. Perhaps someone will prove me wrong, but when companies taking advantage of this “pop-up” concept are the likes of Target, E-bay, Delta, Bluefly.com and more, it makes you wonder: Is this “pop-up” retail concept just another line item on the marketing budget of America’s top brands? Is this fly by night concept only setting consumers up for disappointment when their new favorite store is gone only weeks or months later? Only time will tell.
Until then, I will continue to support my favorite local establishments that are part of the fabric of our community and will (hopefully) always be there when I need them for my next retail therapy session.
I came to find out that this particular retail concept was not their idea specifically, but an up and coming trend in the retail world, as trendwatching.com is quick to point out, called “Pop-Up Retail.” Think PlayStation® Experience Truck, but temporarily parked and transformed into a fabulous retail space in Soho NY or on Melrose for 9-12 weeks and then POOF! Gone…
From a marketing perspective this new concept is a great way to create a buzz, about the store brand, or the products within. However, the question remains, is this a marketing strategy reserved only for those with deep pockets, or is this something anyone can do successfully? The exorbitant cost of rent for a downtown NYC or LA retail space, combined with what must be a massive budget for PR to generate foot traffic during such a short time span, certainly defies most independent retail budgets. And, the pure work that is involved in finding a space, filling it and then closing it out and closing the doors seems too much for a few people to handle and still make money. Perhaps someone will prove me wrong, but when companies taking advantage of this “pop-up” concept are the likes of Target, E-bay, Delta, Bluefly.com and more, it makes you wonder: Is this “pop-up” retail concept just another line item on the marketing budget of America’s top brands? Is this fly by night concept only setting consumers up for disappointment when their new favorite store is gone only weeks or months later? Only time will tell.
Until then, I will continue to support my favorite local establishments that are part of the fabric of our community and will (hopefully) always be there when I need them for my next retail therapy session.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Beginning
As I sit down to write the first entry in my blog, I find myself filled with too many thoughts to write, to the degree, that I sit here staring at the screen for minutes on end with... nothing. Not a word, a place to start, nothing. Is it because I don’t know what to write about first? Is it because I don’t know what to prioritize as my most important idea or stream of thought that I want to put out into the universe for all to read, judge and comment on? Is it because maybe the thought of putting words in a public forum for anyone to see is terrifying (should I change my settings to private)? It is like that quintessential moment when someone asks you what do you want from life and you just stare blankly back at them. Filled with anxiety at the notion of trying to summarize the last 30+ years of thoughts, ideas, wants, desires, lessons learned and dreams all into one sentence. It seems impossible. But we have to start somewhere, so here goes….
I live in a small mountain town in
NYC… the excitement of being in the city that never sleeps, the irony of being able to walk down the street in complete and utter anonymity, and the sadness of knowing you will literally never run into anyone you know, the notion that many people, famous and otherwise, got their start walking down the very same street, the throbbing in my feet from literally beating the concrete jungle with my heels, the fact that I can plug into my MP3 player and roam the streets for hours watching people and keeping my pace to the rhythm of the music (would anyone notice?), and even through the melodies bouncing in my ears, the NOISE of NYC. My god, no wonder they call it the city that never sleeps. The incessant taxi honking, the drunk frat bros outside the window at 2am in the morning trying to fight or one up one another or whatever it is they are slurring on about at a high decibel. Yet it is always worth it because it is the city.
However, the thing I find most frustrating about the city is that no matter how many times I go, I am never able to do everything, or sometimes anything, that I want to do. It is just so overwhelming. Should I see a play, check out a comedy show, skate at Rockefeller Center, shop, eat at the hole in the wall I heard great things about, eat at the five star restaurant I heard great things about, catch a drink at the rooftop bar, or the Irish pub, shop again, go to a Museum, catch up with friends….I am exhausted just thinking about it. The truth is that as wonderful as it is that there is never a dull moment, there are simply too many options. So, while I always have a good time, I inevitably leave feeling unfulfilled in so many ways. As if I missed out on too many things.
So upon my return to the mountain town I call home, I decide to go out to dinner with a girlfriend of mine. We indulged a bit too much in the vino, so I decided to walk home. The walk was nothing like the walk in NYC. The snow crunching quietly beneath my feet, a constant reminder of the season, and the fact that I should have remembered my gloves. Yet, the chill in the air was refreshing as opposed to the biting cold of NYC that made me lose feeling in my phalanges. And most noticeably, the quiet. I walked down our main street downtown and not a single car drove by (and mind you it is 11pm on a Friday!). I turned on to my street and nothing. Just the sound of the snow crunching quietly beneath my feet. All of a sudden I felt so small. Not in a bad way, but in a satisfying way, like it was good to be home. So, as much as I enjoy the excitement of being in the city, at the end of the day, I realize I belong in the mountains. That is, at least until the next time New York beckons my name, where I am sure I will realize something different about the city, or myself in the city, or maybe, just about myself.
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